grow - elise everitt

17th October 2011 by MORE

For those out there who are an officer’s kid, you would know how many expectations are suddenly laid on you when your parents go from being cadets to officers. When I was first made an officer’s kid, I didn't really know what was going on or what it meant. I was eight and I was still mainly occupied with thinking that boys were stinky and oh my gosh, BRATZ DOLLS!!

But, as I grew up the expectations got harder and my whole life was in the spotlight … constantly. Every decision I made, every wrong turn I took was judged harshly. So, I began to fake it. I pretended like I was the goody-two-shoes-preacher’s kid everyone wanted me to be. But inside, I was certainly not that. I started to hate everything. I hated how fake I was. I just wanted to be myself, but I was scared if I tried to be myself then people wouldn't like me.

For a lot of my officer’s kid life I've been living with a mask, and I still do. I still want people to see this fake me who knows everything and loves everyone. I hate to break it to you but I don't know everything and I certainly don't love everyone. There are times when I take this mask off but when I get one weird look from someone at church, I’m back to my alter ego, SUPER ELISE!

Being an officer’s kid has taught me that it is very wrong to judge people by their parent’s occupation, their parent’s wrong doings, or to judge anyone for that matter. There are a lot of times when I go to church and all I want to do is just be who I am, who God made me to be and not a stereotypical officer’s kid.

Stereotyping has to be one of my pet hates. There was this one time I was at a Bible study and we were looking up a verse and someone asked me to read it out. I replied saying,

"Still looking for it" to which someone else replied, "You're still looking for it? Aren't you the officer’s kid? You should know the Bible off by heart." Now, I'm not a violent person but when they said that, all I wanted to do was to kick them in the face.

God called my parents, not me. And it’s unfair for people to have expectations of me and any other officer’s kid – expectations that have pushed me to the edge and expectations that I didn't want or ask for.

Being an officer’s kid is not a role I chose, it’s the one that was given to me and honestly there are times that I want to give it back. I just want to be a regular girl, who is trying to find myself. I just want to escape the shadow of everyone’s expectations and start living up to my own – mask free.

I thank God everyday that I am still pretty firm in my faith. I also thank him for my sense of humour. It’s my sense of humour that has made it easier for me to shake off the comments of close-minded people who haven't taken the time to really get to know me. Being an officer’s kid has been an amazing journey and I wouldn't change it for the world! And I just want to encourage all the other officer’s kids out there that if you are feeling that the expectations are way too much for you to handle, there is ALWAYS someone to talk to. Talk to your parents, talk to your youth pastor, or talk to God. He understands full well what you are going through and his solutions are always the best.

Comments

Julie

November 03, 2011 at 7:41pm

Elise, I love that this story is published here. I here you Elise and will take your concerns into the raising of our daughter who by default has become an OK too. Thankyou for being yourself, in the words you use to share the journey.

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