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8th July 2011 by Esther Pinn

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really miss school. I enjoy being an adult and the freedom that comes with it.

But there is one thing I do miss from school – being able to hang out with my friends for six hours a day, five days a week.

I’ve found as I've gotton older that it’s become more and more difficult to find time to hang out with my friends. Everyone’s so busy with study or work or with their partner.

At school it was easier to have lots of friends because you saw them all the time. But when time starts to become limited, it’s harder to maintain those friendships.

Be intentional

When you leave school, there’s a good chance that you won’t remain friends with everyone that was in your friend group. You may just grow apart from people and discover you have a lot less time to give than when you were at school.

So with all of life’s demands, it’s important to be intentional when picking friends. Yes, God calls us to love everyone but it’s important to choose friends that will bring fruitfulness into your life.

Proverbs 18:24 says, “There are “friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother”.

Friends are important. They can bring us so much joy, particularly when you just need to have a download session. Proverbs 27:9 says, “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense”.

Pick a few people who you know will sow into your life and be there for you. You need those kinds of friends when everything hits the fan and your world falls to pieces.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother [or sister!] is born to help in time of need”.

It’s your call

Would you describe yourself as a reliable friend?

In Proverbs 20:6 it says, “Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?”

Don’t always expect people to call you. Friendships work two ways. They are about giving and receiving. It’s easy to get frustrated when people don’t make the effort but it’s not all one way.

Secondly, make time. If you have a busy schedule, then plan ahead. Sometimes we just use the excuse of, “Well, I just don’t have enough time in the week” but we do and we can make it.

Bad Eggs

The Bible warns us about befriending people who have a negative influence over our lives.

Proverbs 22: 24-25 says, “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.”

Now I’m not talking about people who make a negative comment every now and then. I’m talking about people who are consistently down, who often speak negatively about themselves and other people.

Often these people just need help. But if you’re finding it hard to be around someone like this because they are making you feel miserable, then you need to walk away. If you continue to harm yourself, it will become a lot harder to befriend people who really are in need.

You don’t have to ignore them but pull away how much time you spend with them if it’s affecting you!

Your best friend

While friends may change over your life, there will always been one friend there for you – your best friend. And his name is Jesus.

Whatever you do, make sure you give time to him. Don’t let work schedules or study restrict you from becoming closer to Jesus. He will always be there to listen and he will be there to pick you up when you fall.

Reach Out

Once you have those stable friends, it becomes much easier to befriend people who are needy. Jesus is the perfect example of someone who befriended people who were unpopular. Check out the story about Jesus and Zacchaues: Luke 19:1-10.

Often these people may not have much to give, but need others to give to them. While you can’t fix people’s problems, you can show them kindness and grace.

And it’s so much easier to do that when you have a close relationship with Jesus and stable friends who support you. It’s so important to help build others when you are already built.

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