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31st December 2010 by Mark Soper

One of the challenges of life that we will all have to face is the death of someone we love. Whether through a freak accident, cancer or plain old age it is never easy to face life without those we love. To lose a brother, sister, son, daughter, grandparent, wife, husband, or close friend is probably one of the most painful things in life. When we face this time in our life we will all grieve and handle this loss differently.

Losing a loved one

I've always been very close to my grandma and she has made a positive influence on my life and has also been a great godly role model. I have been so blessed with grandparents that love and serve the Lord. I would always see her reading her Bible – she always had a way of seeing the best in people and looking at the best in any situation. Over the weekend I was told that my grandma passed away.

The question which I had to face and many of us will have to face is how will I grieve the loss of someone so important in my life?

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve and I am definitely no expert in this area but here are some things that have helped me and which I've heard over the years about handling the loss of those we love.

10 Things to remember

1) It's ok to be upset and to mourn the loss of those you love. Real men do cry!

2) It's ok to ask God why? It's even ok to be angry at God. However, be careful not to let these questions or anger turn you away from God. Over 1/3 of the Psalms are feelings of sorrow and regret. David expressed to God how he felt but he used this to draw strength and dependence on God.

3) You may want to be around people or you may need time by yourself – either or both is ok.Try remembering the good times and think about how this person made your life better from having them in it.

4) Spending time with family and friends and reflecting on this person's life is a great way to begin the process of healing.

5) Try not to let regret get the better of you. Often when we lose those close to us we beat ourselves up about how we would have done things differently. Learn from this but try to not let this guilt eat you up.

6) Be willing to forgive yourself if you need to do that or forgive the person who has passed away if that is necessary. If that's too hard, ask God to give you the strength.

7) Spend time with God. When we are grieving, God has a funny way of bringing healing in all kinds of different ways but the key here is draw close to him and not walk away from him.

8) Hold on to God's promises and his truths. Mathew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted."

9) God knows exactly how you feel and what you're going through even if no-one else does.

10) God still loves you and laid down his son for you.

Other readings: 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, John 14:1-4, John 11:25 and Psalm 121.

My prayer is that whenever you experience the loss of a loved one you would stretch your arms out to the almighty God who is there and waiting to bring you comfort and peace. I pray that we would choose to trust God in the midst of these hard and testing times and realise that God is the same loving and faithful God he's always been!

By Mark Soper

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1. 

   Mel

   May 13, 2011 at 5:28pm

   Great help thanks

   Reply