23rd December 2010 by Shandri Brown

Have you ever prayed for something ... you know really prayed for something ... asked for it passionately, worshipped God for it in advance, fasted, cried and prayed the same prayer for a year, you really prayed for it and then ... nothing.
Maybe you believed for a friend's healing, or for a ministry opportunity to come your way. Maybe you prayed for direction, to know God's will or for a relationship. You felt you weren't being selfish and that you had a right motivation but still ... nothing.
It's not just prayer that can leave us disappointed and feeling like God really dropped the ball on certain situations. It is a horrible feeling to know that you have tried to reach out and worship a God you know exists but in your heart you feel nothing, just a void, as though God is so distant from you right now.
David, an Old Testament bloke known as a "man after God's own heart" thrashed out his disappointment, questions and doubts with God right throughout the Psalms.
Psalm 77:7-8: "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favour again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Mother Theresa, a nun, who became famous for her devotion to God wrote in her diary:
"My smile is a great cloak that hides a multitude of pains ...In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I feel that God does not want me, that God is not God and that he does not really exist."
It's ok to get frustrated and to question God. That's all part of having a real relationship. It's not healthy to keep living in a place of disappointment but if God can handle these heroes of the faith saying these things, then I am pretty sure he can handle what you want to say to him.
Remember feeling that you knew deep down that Santa Claus was true? Remember feeling like your Christmas holidays were going to go on forever and ever only to find that 6 weeks really flies pretty fast? Remember feeling like you would absolutely die if your mum kissed you on the cheek in public ... still reading this ... equals very much alive.
Sometimes our feelings let us down and when they do we need to have a whole bunch of truths to stand upon.
What do you know to be true? Do you know God is good? Do you know he created you? Do you know he has good plans for you? Keep these in mind next time it seems God has become a giant jerk who is keeping you from having all your desires met.
I have had a bunch of prayers that were followed by an awkward silence or even a straight-up "no" and I'm not just talking little prayers like, "Lord help me get an A on my assignment" or "God please have mum make lasagne tonight". I'm talking big prayers like "So God I am madly in love with this guy, and he's a Christian and we like the same things and I can't imagine doing life without him ... so can you please take care of it and have it all work out, so we can get married and live happily ever after" ... hmm still waiting God ... waiting God ... your answer is "NO", are you kidding me?
When I was 17 I decided who was a good match for me and felt pretty confident that it was all God's will seeing as we met through ministry and loved missions. While my mind stayed pretty confident in this choice for the next couple of years God had clearly decided my prayers for this "good man" was not the great plan he had in mind. I was angry, hurt and completely disappointed with God and for a long time too.
Today though, I can't even stress enough how glad I am that God didn't give me what I asked for! If God gave me what I desperately wanted him to give me I would not have the best possible life now, with an amazing husband that I wouldn't trade for 50 of those other guys.
Sometimes we just don't ask for the right things. Sometimes we ask for the right things and God waits for the right time to provide it. Sometimes we just don't feel close to God because our feelings betray us. What counts is that we hang in there and learn to rejoice in what we do have.
We should let suffering produce perseverance because perseverance produces character and character produces hope. Hope does not disappoint us (Romans 5:5). It may seem like there are a serious number of dry times and "no" answers coming your way but refusing to give up will ultimately give you hope, which carries you through until your day of "yes".
By Shandri Brown
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