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16th December 2010 by Shandri Brown

In society today young people struggle with self harm (cutting, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide), the loss of friends, and depression but I have never found what the Bible, God or Jesus says about them. So what does it say and how do I deal with these thoughts?

There are verses in the Bible that address these issues though maybe they don't use the words "cutting" or "depression". God does provide us with his thoughts on damaging our bodies and what to do when we feel low. If you are looking for verses on cutting, Leviticus 19:28 says, "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD", and 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds us that our bodies have been purchased at a high price by God, and that we should honor God with our bodies.

God also gives us some reminders that we can run to him with our problems, see Psalm 46:1, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble", and 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

What the Bible reveals to us is that God can provide hope and comfort, God does not want us to damage ourselves, there is no problem too great for God to handle (Jeremiah 32:17) and God is with us even in the darkest times (Psalm 139:7-12).

It is really hard to just accept that God can and will help us when it feels like your world is spinning out of control and depression is overwhelming everything else. It is really important to seek the help of a counsellor or pastor if you are tempted to self harm. If depression is an ongoing struggle for you it is important to see your doctor and discuss this with them. They can help you with a plan for dealing with it. Talk to a leader at your church to see who they would recommend you could receive some helpful counsel from and keep praying that God would help you to have hope through the dark times.

There's a lot of pressure at school to go to parties, to drink and even to take drugs. Should I go to parties if I am a Christian? How can I be an example when everyone around me is drunk or high?

There is some good to come out of being the only sober person at a party – you can drive everyone home, clean up your friend's vomit and keep up to date with who is hooking up with who.

The negatives are that if you are constantly around temptation and pressure to drink etc you just may give in someday, your reputation can be affected because people often assume you are taking part in all this stuff anyway if you are at all the parties, drunk people hitting on you is not super fun and yep, you get to deal with people's vomit.

There is nothing wrong with going to parties. You just need to weigh up the pros and cons and ask yourself ''who really benefits from me being there?'' If you do go the party will God be glorified? Will your discipleship be strengthened or suffer? Will others be served in love?

1 Corinthians 10:23 says that everything is permissible to you – you have the freedom to do these things, but not everything is beneficial and constructive.

There is a chance you can be example even when everyone else is high, although in my experience this is extremely difficult and doesn't often work. Are there any other better places and times to try and be an example that might have greater effect?

Make sure you find some great ways to spend time with non-Christian friends – you don't have to cut them out of your life just because the partying isn't helpful.

My friends are always complaining that I never spend time any time with them because I'm always at Youth group on a Friday night. I don't want to stop going to Youth group, but I don't want to lose my friends either. What should I do?

There are a few things you can do:

• Is Friday the issue or do they just want to feel they have your time? Organise some Saturday get-togethers, holiday sleepovers, Sunday lunches etc. Get organised about being with your friends when you do have free time.
• What can you do to make your youth group more attractive to your friends? Wouldn't it be great to have them involved in your youth group too? Talk to your youth leaders about making sure your youth calendar has lots of nights targeting newcomers and give your leader some input into what your friends would be attracted to.
• Ask your youth group to be praying for your friends. Pray for them by name that they would get saved/join the church body/love being at youth group.
• Get a couple of cardboard cut-outs made of yourself. Give one to your friends and one to youth group. That way whichever group you are with, both still get to be with you.
• Do your friends complain about how often you go to the bathroom without them, how much sport you play, or how many nights you have to be home for dinner? Doubt it. There are lots of things we commit to in life and maybe they just don't like that you are doing your Christian thing every Friday because it makes them feel uncomfortable. So again, how can you help your youth group get real crazy about evangelism and welcoming new peeps? Show them that your youth group is great, that you are not a different person there and invite them along.

 By Shandri Brown

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