Girlzone: Fickle or Faithful
28th September 2010 by Claire Twivey
Tools to build a lasting friendship
Friendships are pretty important. But how do we build ones that last?
It's easy to get inconsistent or fickle in a friendship – I know that I've fallen into this trap before. But it's never too late to become a faithful friend or to find a faithful friend.
Others may be inconsistent with you, but you can be consistent in how you treat your friends – and that pleases God. God wants us to look for a true friend – not just any friend. It takes time to build a strong foundation with a true friend, so choose your tools wisely.
The first tool: Transparency
Transparency is all about seeing within each other's heart. Transparency should be important to us because it was important to God.
In 1 Corinthians 2:10 it says: "For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God's deep secrets" (NLT).
God chose to be transparent and show all of himself through his Holy Spirit. You are transparent when you are honest, share your strengths and weaknesses, and be yourself!
The second tool: Truth
You will discover the rewards of real friendships when you speak truth and bring refreshing words of encouragement to each other.
- Encourage your friends always;
- Share your struggles with each other and keep each other accountable;
- Don't gossip about your friends.
The third tool: Love
"A friend loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17, NASB).
Friendship is all about loving through the good times and the bad, and that's usually when you need friends most! I believe one of the great ways you can love your friends is to pray for them.
But things aren't always peachy!
- It's easy to get jealous when friends ignore you or choose to exclude you. In Romans 13:12-13 (NIV), jealousy is called, a "deed of darkness".
- Never pin all your hope on one human being. You will be disappointed. It's valuable to open up your life to multiple friends so that if one falls away, you still have friends.
- Ask God to teach you something valuable even from the painful experiences of your life. Being ditched by a friend hurts - but if you know what it feels like, you can make sure you never do that to your girlfriends. Let this experience make you a more compassionate and faithful friend.
- Remember, you must become the kind of friend you desire to have.
Even though friends may disappoint, keep in mind that God is your faithful friend no matter what.
"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honour come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:5-8, NLT).
By Claire Twivey
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