Leadership: What's your name again?
13th September 2010 by Claire Hill
"Good to see you! (What's your name again...?)"
Have you ever found yourself in that situation where you've met someone too many times to ask them what their name is ... but you can't for the life of you remember what it is?
I have! Sometimes I've had a long and fantastic chat with someone and then I can't remember their name the next time I see them! :(
The ability to remember people's names is actually a super valuable skill for Christian leaders to have. When we remember someone's name it can make them feel valued. It can say "you matter enough to me for me to have remembered your name".
Calling someone you're trying to lead 'dude with the braces' or 'guy with the scar' just doesn't have the same effect.
So here are five name-remembering tips that work. If you're like me, and have found remembering people's names doesn't always come naturally, I encourage you to give them a go:
1. REPEAT
When someone first tells you what their name is, repeat it back to them to check you've heard them correctly. This is particularly important if it's a particularly unusual name or one you haven't heard before.
2. VISUALISE
Some people are better at recalling things they've seen rather than things they've heard. If you're in that group (I am!) you'll probably find it useful to ask them how they'd spell their name, and then imagine it written across the person's forehead in clear, bold letters.
Of course, if the pronunciation is different to what the spelling would suggest, for example, with the name Nesan (pronounced 'nurse-an') this won't help much. See below for a trick to deal with this.
3. LINK
Think of someone or something (a friend, a famous person or a place) that has a similar or identical name. When I first met my friend Mariah I said to myself: "like Mariah Carey" and when I first met our corps officer Nesan I'm pretty sure I said to myself "like a nurse". If you can weave your word association into the conversation without offending them or making some lame joke they've heard a zillion times before, great! That will help you recall it later too!
4. USE
Try to use the name a bunch of times in your first conversation. Sometimes, if we go overboard with this it can sound a little strange or a little patronising. Repeat it as many times as you can without sounding odd!
5. RECORD
Once you've finished the conversation, go enter the name into your phone or record it somewhere. That way, even if all of the other tricks fail or you forget to use them you'll have a record to fall back on.
If you have some other tricks that have worked for you – we'd love to hear them too!
It's totally worth us as leaders getting good at this.
By Claire Hill
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Comments
I've heard another good way to remember a persons name is to right it onthe top of your mouth with your tongue when you first meet them.
Obviously a bit hard to do when meeting a whole bunch of new people!!!
I like this one! Nice. :)
When I first met Nesan I was totally like "Nurse-an. NURSE-an" in my head. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I like that you say to be careful not to make a lame joke with the word association. I knew a woman once who would always call me "Mel Gibson" because it was the only way she could remember my name. Needless to say, it got old fast.
Bahaha mel Gibson.. Will totally start callin you that!