Girlzone: When life gets you down
12th July 2010 by Julia Hosking
No one could accuse me of being over-emotional ... because they know that if they do, I'll collapse into a blubbering mess.
Maybe it's a girl thing, or maybe it's a Mel thing, but I've always seemed to have a rollercoaster of an emotional life. One minute I'm fine, and then my favourite show is cancelled (remember The OC? Sob), or I find out my best friend has been gossiping about me behind my back, and the next thing I know I'm crying along to a Taylor Swift album with my head in a tub of triple-choc-fudge ice-cream.
Sometimes life smacks you in the face, but a girl can't be a slave to her emotions. Over the years I've learned some tricks for how to deal with the mental whirlwind that is being human, and I've put together a list of a couple of things I've picked up along the way. So here it is; Mel's guide to putting the smack-down on your emotions ...
1. Accept it
How you feel is how you feel, and there's nothing wrong with that. The idea that some emotions are "wrong" is unhealthy. Everyone occasionally feels sad or angry, and you should never feel guilty for feeling a certain way. Learn to accept how you're feeling, rather than trying to push your emotions down.
2. Talk it
When I'm having a rough day, I have one or two 'go to people' who I know I can share anything with. I don't go to them looking for solutions, but I've found that just having a listening ear can make all the difference.
NOTE: Be careful who you share with, and show some wisdom when choosing your confidantes. DO talk to a close friend. DON'T status-update your mental state for your entire Facebook friends list to see. DO confide in your corps officer or youth leader. DON'T share your deepest, darkest secrets with that one person who loves nothing better than telling everyone about everyone else's problems.
3. Pray it
Remember when your youth leader said God wants to hear everything you're feeling? The good AND the bad? Well it's true. God loves nothing more than when his children (that's you) turn to him. And while it's easy to believe that being a healthy Christian means always feeling on top of the world, an authentic relationship with your heavenly Father means sharing every aspect of your life with him – the good and the bad.
When the feelings remain
While it's a normal part of being a girl – and a member of the human race – to sometimes feel a little down, if you're feeling these things intensely, for long periods of time or without reason, you could have depression. This is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, lots of people (myself included) have suffered from depression at some point in their life, but it's important to get help. If you think you may have depression, talk to a mature Christian who you trust about how you're feeling.
By Mel Cotton
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Comments
I don't know how many times I've told friends to "leave it off Facebook" when they're upset or angry about something. It gives everyone else the opportunity to comment on your life, and not all of it is helpful or even wanted. And if you don't want people saying things to you, don't give them the opportunity and information to do so.
Good advice all round. Thanks Mel.