Girlzone: Escaping the gossip trap
7th June 2010 by Claire Twivey
We live in a world filled with gossip, rumours and lies. Humans have a craving to know everything that is happening around us. We just can't wait to hear the goss on someone else.
What's wrong with gossip?
Do you think that everyone likes a good story? Personally, I don't think so. Have you thought about the person in the story? Do they like the story? Probably not.
Spreading rumours hurts others and destroys our credibility. Who is going to trust us with anything when they think we'll go and tell everyone else?
The Bible is really clear on the fact that gossip is wrong. It is strong enough to tear apart the closest of friends (Proverbs 16:28) and the effects are much deeper than what we can fully see.
"Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies!" Psalm 34:13 (NLT).
"A ... gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence" Proverbs 11:13 (MSG).
Escaping the trap part one: removal
If you catch yourself starting to gossip or you find yourself surrounded by it, simply remove yourself from the situation.
It may sound a bit strange – and you may think that your friends won't appreciate it – but trust me, your friends will thank you for it in the long run! You will be someone they can come and talk to, and they will know that you're trustworthy.
Escaping the trap part two: question
Maybe you're really struggling with gossip at the moment. You may even be starting the gossip trails. Before you speak, ask yourself three things:
- Is what I'm about to say nice?
- Is what I'm about to say necessary?
- Is what I'm about to say true?
A big thing with young people is the temptation to gossip and talk about others on Facebook. Something practical you can do is write the above three questions down, and stick them on your computer at home. Before you write something hurtful online (or say something hurtful), think.
Escaping the trap part three: divert
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29 (NIV).
Every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about someone, try to stop and think of three things you admire in them (divert your thoughts).
The final tools for escape
Make it your goal to be a young woman of integrity. Be a trustworthy friend.
If you want to avoid gossip, focus on speaking encouraging things to others. Build people up with your words!
Don't be afraid to sit down and talk to your friends about it; work at keeping each other accountable for what you say.
Above all, we should aim to reflect our Creator God in everything we do. It's tough to do it alone. But with his help, all things are possible!
By Claire Twivey
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Comments
Hey Claire great article! I think the more we speak positive about others the less people will want to speak about others in a negative way. Bless ya
Good message Claire! it is sooo true Gossip is such a trap, i love what you said about diverting your thoughts and thinking of three things you admire about the person. It is such a practical and healthy suggestion! thanks
love this Claire.. some real profound truths in it! ... love your work! :-)