confusion, anyone?

2nd June 2010 by David Brice

Questions

I have this strong memory of lying awake in bed as a seven year old, thinking about everything I had been taught about life & spirituality (I was an unusual seven year old!). I remember thinking "there must be more to it than this!" It all seemed a bit empty and I was confused about what it meant to follow this God that I had been taught about.

Fast-forward 17 years. I was in my third year of Bible college and by now, of course, I had figured life out and had all the answers. Or not! While the journey I had taken and things I had learnt were hugely significant, I actually found myself awake many nights with questions, as I had 17 years before. What is the point? How do I understand the struggles? How do I know anything for sure? What do I do with the unanswered questions?

Life isn't always peachy

I think that sometimes in the church (yes, I'm generalising) we can create the expectation that you should have everything sorted out. That the questions should disappear. That the doubt should evaporate. That everything should look just peachy.

The trouble is, life isn't like that!

I love the book of Psalms in the bible for this reason. The Psalms are full of statements that go something like; "What's going on God? I don't understand it...and I don't like it!". Maybe that doesn't sound like the most reverent thing to say, but the bible seems to suggest that God can take it! And, in fact, that he loves this kind of honesty even when it aint pretty!

How are we going with creating safe spaces where it is ok to talk about the hard stuff and ask the hard questions? I don't think I'm the only one out there who struggles with questions and dark times. Do you talk about it?

David Brice

Comments

Claire Hill

June 02, 2010 at 1:16pm

So true David!

I can recall one particular period – a number of years ago when I was feeling especially disturbed by the things that didn’t seem to add up and was struggling with all kinds of doubt. It was a scary time.

At the time I felt that I had to work it all through by myself - for fear that I would be judged - or looked upon as weak or even unfit for the leadership position I was in.

To be fair – it’s quite possible that I was being irrational and that I was wrong about how people would react.

Still - I reckon it’s really important that we foster an environment within the church where we can be honest about this stuff, where we can admit to each other when we’re struggling and accept that everything isn’t always tidy, simple or peachy.

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!Relle

June 02, 2010 at 4:28pm

Yeah David and Claire I am with you on this one.

I remember a few years ago talking to an elderly lady who mentioned that growing up in the church she was never allowed to question anything about her faith, and that is just how it was. and I remember being really sad for her, but thankful that I have had people around me who I have been able to thrown my questions on and work through how my faith and life around me interact.

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