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1st April 2010 by Melanie Cotton

Screams of terror in my head

When I was approached to write for Girlzone, my first thought was, "Someone wants me to write for them? That rocks!"

My second thought was "me? You want ... me to write? Um ... ok."

Then I thought for a bit about what that might involve: talking to some of our territory's amazing, precious girls about living the best they can, and navigating life's obstacles.

By this point, my thoughts were less words and more screams of terror.

Seriously, me?

The thing is, I'm not particularly good at navigating life's obstacles. I tend more towards stumbling into them, crying for a bit and then blogging my injuries. In fact, in some ways I'm probably the last person in the world who should be giving advice to anyone!

I wasn't good at being a teenager. I was awkward and I had no idea how to relate to my peers. Not in a John Hughes way either. I wasn't indie-cool or especially original, just weird.

I'm not good at being a girl. The infrequency of my eyebrow waxes and the fact that I'm constantly caught without tampons in my handbag attest to this. I'm also pathetically inept at relating to the opposite sex for someone in her 20s.

I'm not good at romance. The closest I've come to a relationship in the past year is using my camera-phone to stealth photograph the cute boys on the inner-west line.

I'm not sure I'm even that good at being a person. I mean, I'm not particularly bad at it, but am I really the sort you want telling your teenage girls how to live?

An underdog

I've thought about this quite a bit recently. What could I have to offer? I'm no guru or role model. I'm just an average Josephine, struggling to get through life without making a complete and utter mess of things.

And then I think, perhaps that's what I have to offer. Perhaps that's the reason I'm qualified for this role...

• Because sometimes it feels like my achievements are not because of, but in spite of, who I am.
• Because I'm in no way immune to fear, uncertainty or self-doubt.
• Because nothing comes naturally to me, but that won't stop me from diving in head first.
• Because I'm a completely ordinary girl who will keep on struggling to do (be) something extraordinary.
• Because I'm an underdog, but I wasn't the first. Jesus was.

By Mel Cotton

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1. 

   Sandy

   April 07, 2010 at 9:55pm

   hey mel, you're a girl who loves god - awesome! being yourself is what god wants from you and a great example for anyone who will read your blogging

   Reply
2. 

   Tamika

   May 05, 2010 at 8:06pm

   All girls go through an awkward stage but God is still with us, guiding us through this and he loves us all!!!!!!!!!

   Reply