Is virginity a gift?
29th January 2010 by Shandri Brown
So it seems like Dads are not allowed to give some smart advice to their daughters anymore. At least not if that dad happens to be a politician.
In a recent interview Tony Abbott was asked what he thought of sex before marriage. He focused on what he would tell his 3 daughters...
"I would say to my daughters, if they were to ask me this question, I would say ... it is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly that is what I would say."
Seems like pretty good advice, only now he has to defend himself against claims that he is telling all Australian women what they can and can't do. Seriously!
Should politicians be allowed to have opinions on sex before marriage? Is this a topic that people should be allowed to speak publicly about? Or is it a personal issue, where everyone should just make a choice for what they think is right for them regardless of anyone else's opinions?
Have you heard any teaching on sex before marriage in your church? Have we spoken about it enough? I think perhaps we Christians avoid confronting this issue most of the time, aware that we have people in our congregations who are living together (and sleeping together) who we don't want to offend.
When I was dating my husband my (future) mother-in-law asked me a few times if I had done anything inappropriate (ie. had sex yet). Though I found this pretty shocking at the time, I find it interesting that none of the Christian leaders in my life ever provided any accountability on this subject.
Is virginity a gift? If so, maybe we need to offend some people in the process of protecting it's value.
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Comments
My dad may not have said so much to my sisters and I, but my mum sure did!
I think it is an issue that needs to be made public, but is for each person to decide for themselves. If Tony Abott was replying to a personal question, I don't see why there is then a need for a Facebook group called "Tony Abott, get your rosaries off my ovaries!" etc...
Personally, the only time I've heard anything taught on sexual purity is in GirlZone elective/workshops at young Christian conferences. Why isn't it taught on during a Sunday service? Especially if the younger children all get whisked off to Sunday School.
The Bible says to confront our Christian brothers if we know they are sinning, to keep them accountable. It even goes so far as to say to bring it to light in front of the whole congregation! I don't see that happening... The Prophets were offensive by telling people they were sinning against God and that if they didn't change God was going to do something about it. They got killed. But they were right. The people were sinning.
Do we not say the truth to people we know for fear of not being nice? Or do we tell them the truth, possibly hurt a friendship, because it is the right thing to do?
I think a womans virginity is the greatest gift she can give her husband after they are married. And really, as much as we focus on girls, it is the greatest gift a guy can give his wife as well. Something to be shared between a married couple.
More needs to be said about this.
Yes! I agree.. I think in this day & age we are just too afraid to speak what needs to be said for fear of offending someone.
Virginity & sex before marriage didn't really make for a light conversation, but mum managed to slip a few comments in here & there... and I remember my youth group broaching the subject over a series of services, & all of us youngsters at youth signed a letter between ourselves & God promising to save ourselves for marriage. Another idea I heard of from a school friends Youth group, they all had silver rings provided to them from the youth group as a physical constant reminder. Engraved on the rings was "SS4M" (Save Sex 4 Marriage) I thought this was a great idea!
More needs to be said on this topic. More needs to be done! And I'm glad that you've taken the time to say something!
Tony Abbot shouldn't be condemned for having an opinion, He was asked a personal question and he answered honestly. He answered as a father and told of what he would say to HIS DAUGHTERS. Tony Abbot should be applauded for this!
Tony Abbot shouldn't be condemned for having an opinion
however he should be condemned for wearing bugie smugglers!
a. Virginity is definitely a gift and shouldn't be taken lightly.
However, what is marriage? Is it just a piece of paper that legally binds you to one other person? Or does it mean more than that? And does the bible actually state 'no sex before marriage? Or does it state that when people have sex, they have become one flesh? Hmmm....again what is marriage?
b. The people not yet Christians are the ones that know Christians can't have sex before marriage - they taunt us with it!
Perhaps the message/education of whether or not it's ok to have pre-marital sex is just being lost, people seem to be switching off. It seems more and more Christians think that it's ok or that it doesn't even matter whether or not they engage in sex outside of marriage.
If those that aren't yet Christians rub it in our faces that we can't have sex before we're married, then surely Christians know better of what is expected of them?
It seems that living out Christian principles is more difficult than the actual knowledge of whether it's right or wrong! But that can be applied to most Christian topics!
c. My third point here, i feel, is the most important. In some ways, i feel it's more important than just knowing that sex is a sacred gift from God.
A lot of people that aren't Christians often think that their lifestyle of sleeping with their partner outside of marriage is an irrevocable sin! See, sex becomes a lifestyle. It's a little bit like pringles, once you pop, you can't stop!
However! Pre-marital sex IS forgiveable via Jesus Christ, and I'm not sure many people who aren't Christians understand that. The most important thing to understand is that whether you're a Christian or not yet a Christian, sex before marriage is a forgiveable sin! People have it in their heads that once they've had sex, there's no going back! And sadly, in some cases, it's a sin some people don't WANT to erase but rather indulge in.
But Jesus came to meet sinners at their point of need, he came to break free the sins that bind us. If there's sin in our life that needs forgiving, then we should never hold back from that forgiveness but at the same time, once we are forgiven, we shouldn't go back to that old sin either! Forgiveness should always be a step forward and never a step back!
Whilst I agree with the author of this blog that pre-marital sex isn't right, it's also not something that Jesus won't or can't forgive! So I guess education and forgiveness is paramount to this discussion!