grow - tracy briggs

25th May 2009 by Julia Hosking

No one enjoys hard times, especially me, and I seem to have had my fair share of them.

And just recently I experienced another really hard time. I was crushed, and I was broken-hearted. But I grew.

For a long time I have wanted to find my ‘dad'. Not knowing him has always haunted me and caused me great pain. So a year ago I filled out an application form, prayed I would find him, and sent it in to The Salvation Army's family tracing service.

Twelve months have passed since then, and recently I heard the words I really didn't want to hear... They had found my dad, and a half sister, but he doesn't want anything to do with me and wants me to cease the search.

After hearing this I spent a lot of time on the couch crying. As I cried, I thought about Psalm 31:2-5¹. I cried out to God to be my refuge, to rescue me, to be my strong fortress and to be my truth. I felt like God had sent his angels to wrap me in their wings to shield me from the world for those few hours so that I could grieve. I felt God's words of promise, hope, and peace being whispered into my heart.

I know that I have taken a journey of growth this week and my faith has been strengthened. Satan has used my hurt of not knowing my dad, and the rejection that I felt in the past to get the better of me, to cloud me with depression, and to distract me from the ministry God has called me to.

This time, however, I began to trust that God knows what is best for me, that his plans for me are good, and are not intended to hurt me. And now I also have to trust that for whatever reason God knows that it is not in my best interest to have my ‘dad' in my life. Instead, it is in my best interest to cultivate and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father. During this time God reminded me of the words from Psalm 31:8².

I can now say that the hard times are great, because they stretch me, test me, challenge me, strengthen me, send me to my knees in prayer and allow me to flex my ‘faith' muscles!

"I have come in order that you might have life - life in all its fullness" John 10:10.

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¹"Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth".

²"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you"

Comments

Nathan Moulds

May 28, 2009 at 9:10am

Wow thanks so much for the honest sharing Tracy, what an encouragement to those of us who have had no Earthly father or have but have been let down by them. What a comfort that God is our perfect father and we are His adopted son's and daughters! Thanks again Tracy

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Patto

May 28, 2009 at 9:24am

Thanks for sharing deeply Tracy. Im sure it will encourage many in the same situation. Keep Smiling Patto

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Lisa Hindle

May 28, 2009 at 12:16pm

I'm proud of you Tracy. What a mature mind and faith to accept God and His word for you in this way.

To trust God, that His ways are higher than ours, is stretching, but I prayed just now that you will know a new peace because you've trusted our Father with knowing what is better and best for Tracy Briggs.

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Colleen Morton

May 30, 2009 at 4:10pm

Thanks for being so honest about stuff that is painful. You are an amazing woman of God who blesses so many others every day. I'm encouraged by your strength and openness and focus on your heavenly Father.

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